Burning Bridges

For so long I’ve feared to cross that bridge
I preferred to stay on solid ground
where I could live inside a fantasy
and leave well enough alone.

Now, I've made up my mind
to venture out at a daring height
and made the choice to greet with open arms
what waits on the other side.

Exploring unFamiliar Territory

Last night I dreamt of you

we were in a movie theatre

you sat behind me

and leaned forward to touch my shoulder

I reached up to touch your hand

in the dark it was okay

but when the lights came on

I turned and you were gone

 

Today I ate M&Ms and I was ashamed

the pup came galumphing into the room

his ears were inside out and I was amused

in just a bit I will cross the Salisbury Viaduct

and I am afraid

not afraid, apprehensive

a fear of heights grew up with me

but I am leaving it behind

 

Before we met you told me

…high up

gasping for balance

pushing on

we must

keep moving

or we fall.

Good advice that I will follow

on this bridge and in my heart

 

None of you will walk beside me

not one will hold my hand

but each of you are mixed into my soul

and I am not alone.

 

 

Quiet



The forest sleeps

and my heart is still

birds are silent

and there is beauty

What do I want from you?

 

only that you touch my face

hold my hand and stroke my hair

ask me if my day went well

and tell me bits of  yours

walk beside me in the woods

lay beside me in the field

wrap your arms around me

look deep into my eyes

kiss me with caring tenderness

and then let nature take its course.



Always, there were Uncles

 

Uncle Mick with Aunt Diane

who once found me weeping in a cubby

and explained that, in this family, we show love

by picking on one until she cries

 

Uncle Jerry with Aunt Debbie

who did the dumbest things

but did not despair

instead, she shared the tales for laughter’s sake

 

Uncle Tom, the one and only

my most constant family and friend

not a Christmas in my life without him

the caring son until the very end.

 

There wasn’t always a father

but one year he came through

and gave me $10 to buy presents

for brothers, mother, uncles, cousins, grandmothers, and himself.

 

For Uncle Tom,

an envelope of tiny tacks and a plastic shark on wheels

he played with it for hours

and made me laugh until I could not breathe.

 

Later, there were still three uncles

but two of them were my brothers, Uncle Roger and Uncle Ed

the last Christmas I remember us all together

the most remarkable things were said

 

Grammy said we need not save the wrapping paper

to be used another time

and we really are not Irish

Pap Pap had told a lie



Squirrel Nests

Once the leaves have fallen, you may notice a large ball of leaves about thirty feet above the ground and close to the trunk of a tree.  This is most likely a drey, a squirrel’s nest.  The drey starts as a ball of small branches harvested while the leaves are still green.  Because the tree has not begun the process of losing its leaves for the winter, they remain attached throughout the winter.  This outer layer serves both as camouflage and waterproofing.  The inner chamber of the drey is lined with items such as moss, lichens, grass, feathers, and fur for warmth and comfort.  The single entrance will generally be concealed and face the trunk.

Squirrels typically build two or more dreys and will abandon one if it is discovered by predators or infested with parasites such as lice or fleas.  Squirrels breed twice a year, generally in June and January.  Many squirrels will choose to den in a tree cavity rather than a leaf drey during the winter and kittens (or pups, depending on who you ask) born in cavities are about 60% more likely to survive.  If not breeding two or more squirrels may share a drey for warmth.  This collection of squirrels, by the way, is called a scurry.

Against Our Will



Love is a blessing

as well as a curse

moving and changing

against our will.

 

We cannot choose

when we fall in love

any more than we can

choose with whom

 

as much as it hurts

it cannot be killed

and this is how I know that

I am in love with you.

 

Won’t you, just once

even if it’s a lie

tell me that

you are in love with me?

 

 

Christmas Sorrow

 

There’s nothing in my heart today

it's as empty as my nest

no joyful anticipation

or packages to wrap

without my child what is the point

it’s just another day

Solstice Solitude

Photo by Phil Balko

The longest night of the year

uncomfortable being alone among many

so I’m alone by myself, instead.

 

Second-guessing my choice

now that it’s too late

for tonight there’s more dark than ever.

 

But there’s nothing to fear in the dark

no one can see the unfortunate truth

that’s so obvious in the bright day.

 

 

Burdens Shared

Give me your pain

my shoulders are weak but

my heart is strong

and in it I carry you.

Intertwined

To forgive is not to forget

lives are not easily unwound

but there are myriad ways to move on

Winter Retrospect

Blessed, beautiful snow

covering bruises and scars

perfect, blanketing snow

quieting questions and fears

peaceful, comforting snow

giving us time for contemplation

of what kind of life might awaken

for us in the upcoming spring.

 

Poet Dissection

Perusal of poems is a perilous thing

for each means what it means and it doesn’t.

The poet speaks in clear language one can’t understand

he says what he means but you read something else

even when he explains he may as well speak Portugese.

 

When a poet writes of true love is she speaking of you,

a handsome troll under a bridge in a plastic shoe box,

a healer whose touch changes lives but destroys innocent bikes,

a sensual soul with the strongest resolve whom she’s only met once in her life,

the man that she married or the one that she lost,

or a dog that died way too young?

 

Conversing with poets is a dangerous hobby

meant only for those who are strong.

A poet will bear his soul

she will give her heart away

they will live, laugh, and cry with all of their might.

 

Knowing all this, do you think you could handle

the full intensity of my true love?

 

 

Unchanging

 

Just when I start

taking steps forward

seeking new focus

I find that I am again

not again, still

frozen in space, time, and love

with you

    

Oh, Possum

Photo borrowed from Bing

Weird things amuse me and the possum is one of them.  Yes, technically, it is the opossum, but you knew what I was talking about.  The only marsupial native to the United States, the Virginia opossum (Didelphis virginiana) varies in size more than almost any other mammal in the world.  A male living in PA can weigh as much as 14 pounds, while a female in the South American tropics may weigh only 11 ounces.

An opossum’s tail is prehensile, allowing it to be used like a fifth paw to carry small objects (such as nesting material) or grab a branch for balance, but they can’t hang upside down by tail alone.  They have fifty teeth (more than any other North American mammal) and opposable thumbs on their hind feet that have no claw. 

Possums walk in an ipsilateral manner (I love that word), meaning that they step with both left feet before stepping with both right.  Of course, everyone knows that a possum “plays dead” when threatened.  In reality, this appears to be an involuntary near coma like response that can last up to four hours while the opossum lies on its side, mouth and eyes open, tongue lolling, and emitting a green fluid from its anus whose putrid odor tends to repel predators.  The opossum is omnivorous and is one of the very few animals that eat copperheads and rattlesnakes as they have an unusually high tolerance for venom.

Mating season lasts from December through June.  Three litters may be raised per year and up to fifty young may be born at one time.  Most do not survive as there are only 13 nipples, arranged in a circle of 12 with one more in the center.  The young are called joeys and they will remain in their mother’s pouch for about 2-1/2 months before climbing out onto her back.  Perhaps the oddest thing about opossums is their genitalia.  The female has two parallel vaginae and the male has a bifurcated penis.

Tom Waits has sung about them: “Road kill has a season, just like anything, it’s possums in the autumn, and farm cats in the spring.” 

See, I told you I like weird things.

Looking Up

 

I like to watch you follow your dream

and it warms me to see you smile

Whispers

you have touched my frozen heart

 

and melted into my soul

 

when I speak to you with silence

 

I can only hope you understand

Eros

 

I cannot hold you anymore

than I could hold a moving stream

nor can I let you go

Say It

Say it in song,

say it in dance,

say it by touch,

say it any way that you can:

die Welt ist schön,

le monde est beau,

мир прекрасен,

the world is beautiful!

Invitation

 

Just when you invite me in

I’m thinking of running away.

Let’s stay outside just a little bit longer

I know that it’s cold but I’ll keep you warm.

A Bucket of Snakes

Photo from Bing
 

                I don’t really have a “bucket list” but I’ve been thinking a lot lately of the things I’d like to do now that I am regaining some mobility.  Some of the things are quite private and have been told to only one certain gentleman; others are quite public and very few of you are unaware of them, such as visiting the Galapagos Islands with my daughter when I’m 50 or earning the Versatile Companion  Dog title with at least one of my dogs.  Then, there are the ones that are just plain weird.  The one that is most on my mind today is one I’d long forgotten: I want to see a snake hibernaculum.

                A hibernaculum is, in the most general sense, a place where an animal takes refuge in an unfavorable season.  This could be anything between the typical winter den where a bear hibernates and a pocket of dried mud where a toad waits out the dry season.

                Strictly speaking, only mammals hibernate.  A few birds go into torpor; insects and other arthropods go through diapause; and reptiles brumate.  But, for the purpose of this musing, I’m going to use the term hibernate.

                In spring and summer, snakes tend to stay close to water, where prey is abundant but, in autumn, they begin to move into woodlands and rocky outcrops to find a suitable hibernaculum.  Most snakes return to the same spot year after year and may gather in great numbers – both of individuals and of species.  Snakes may travel many miles to reach their hibernacula and new members find the location by following the trail of others. 

                So, why would I want to see a hibernaculum?  Since I am enthralled when I witness the powerful and graceful movements of just one snake, it only follows that I’d be fascinated to see a great writhing ball of multiple species.

                Snakes are awesome.  They smell with their tongues, hear with their jaws, and sleep with their eyes open (of course they do, they have no eyelids).  Though I cannot find a reliable reference, I was taught that snakes eat more rodents than all other predators combined.  Whether that’s true or not, they are undoubtedly play an important role in population control.  With the exception of the very few venomous species in our area (three in PA), I really can’t think of a good reason to fear snakes.  Even the venomous ones won’t strike unless threatened.