Maybe

Should we drift apart

whether it be geography, circumstance,

or words unintentionally unkind

that separate our souls

remember in the quiet

that once there was a woman

who loved you in her imperfect way

unrestricted, unpolluted, unremitting

remember in the dark

that once there was a woman

who loved you with passion quite profound

given free without expectation of return

remember in the cold

that once there was a woman

who loved you exactly as you are

and who, maybe, loves you still

Here Come the Puppies - from Somerset Magazine, July 2017

by REBECCA S. LINDEMAN

                Perhaps the most important thing you can teach your puppy is to come when called.  Immediately - not when she decides it’s time.  The majority of young pups learn their names without formal training and come running when you use it.  It is often not until they enter their “teenage” period that they begin to test their limits or start to choose when they respond and when they do not.  To avoid this problem, I teach what I refer to as an emergency recall in every class – puppy, adult, even agility.  (Recall means to call your pup back to you from something else)

                The first step is to give your puppy a middle name.  Now, when a human’s middle name is used, it is often a sign that he’s in trouble.  Picture yourself coming home past your curfew to discover your mother standing just inside the front door, hands on her hips, foot tapping.  When she utters your full name, your stomach clenches and your heart skips a beat.

                The use of your pup’s middle name will have the exact opposite effect. She will wiggle with joy and come running into your arms - if you follow the training steps exactly.  There are really only three rules to follow.  1.  Train and practice the behavior expected – coming when called – in a manner that allows your pup to succeed.  2.  Never use your pup’s middle name as a negative – that is, don’t use it to tell him he’s done something wrong and don’t use it to call him to do something he doesn’t like.  3.  Always pair the middle name with a great reward, usually an especially delicious treat.

Using a special name, consistently paired with rewards,

 will help your pup learn to come every time he’s called 

(Photo: Rebecca S. Lindeman)

               So, let’s get started.  Choose a middle name that is new, not something that you’ve used on a regular basis.  For the best results, make sure it is short and sounds very different from her first name.  In my pack are Ethel Jane, Daisy Rose, and Horatio Vince.

                Gather some tasty treats – ten is a good number – and we’re ready to begin.  In this step, it’s important to remember that we are not training a behavior; we are creating a positive association with the new name.  Work in a quiet room with no distractions.  Say your pup’s first and middle name in a happy voice, then immediately pop one of those delicious treats into her mouth.  Don’t wait for her to look at you, don’t require her to sit, don’t expect her to even move a muscle.  Just say the name and deliver the treat.  Because this training is so important, I generally use lean, cooked chicken breast.  Repeat this training twice a day for three days.

                On the fourth day, wait until your puppy is across the room from you, not paying attention.  Have those tasty treats ready, say his name and, if he whips his head in your direction – better yet, if he comes running to you – deliver all ten treats and throw a praise party!  If he didn’t, don’t worry, some pups learn a little more slowly.  Repeat the steps for another three days, and then try again.  When he responds as described, start doing this exercise twice a day for five days.

                On the sixth day, wait for your puppy to be in a different room.  Again, have your treats ready and be prepared to throw the praise party.  Call out your puppy’s first and middle name in a clear, loud, happy voice then say, “pup, pup, pup!” until she finds you.  Deliver the treats one at a time, all the while telling her what a wonderful girl she is.  Play hide and seek with your puppy three times a day for a full week.

Fatima Lohr demonstrates the welcoming posture 

and happy voice that very few puppies can resist 

(Photo: Phil Balko)

                The next step is to take it outside.  Take your puppy somewhere that he can be off leash and with few distractions – no other dogs, squirrels, kids, etc.  Let him play and explore for a while, then call him with his first and middle names.  As he comes to you, drop to the ground with your arms open wide, a big smile on your face, and call, “pup, pup, pup!” until he’s in front of you.  Hold his collar with one hand while you treat and pet with the other.  An important part of this step is to then release your puppy to play and explore some more.  Try to do this exercise three times a day for a week, then begin to do it in more and more distracting circumstances.

                In no time at all, you should have a dog that comes running when she hears her middle name.  When she is reliable, you can practice less.  Even now, I try to practice with my dogs once during every walk.  If you have any questions, please send me an email at rebeccaslindeman@gmail.com.

Rebecca is the President & Executive Director of The Ethel Fund Inc., a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization dedicated to changing animals' lives by providing assistance in times of catastrophic veterinary need.  To learn more, please visit http://www.ethelfund.org or https://www.facebook.com/TheEthelFund.  You may contact Rebecca at rslindeman@ethelfund.org.

Phil Balko is the proprietor of Photography by Balko and donates his talents to the Ethel Fund Inc. as well as other community organizations.  To see more of his work, visit http://philipbalko.com/. You may contact Phil at inquiry@philipbalko.com.

Show Me Your Tattoo - from Somerset Magazine, July 2017

by REBECCA S. LINDEMAN

photos by PHIL BALKO

                Across the half-century I’ve spent on this earth, there’s been a changing trend when it comes to tattoos.  Growing up, it was unheard of – outside the circus – for a woman to have one.  In fact, tattoos were generally frowned upon, unless the bearer was a veteran.  If you had ink in your skin without such experience, it was often assumed that you’d spent time in prison. 

                Before learning about Amy Bluell and Project Semicolon, I gave very little thought to the meaning of tattoos.  Amy lost her father to suicide in 2013 and, herself, this year.  She was a brave young woman who inspired a lot of ink when she described a semicolon as representing “a sentence the author could’ve ended, but chose not to.  The author is you and the sentence is your life.”  Visit www.projectsemicolon.com to learn more about her mission and the punctuation that defines it.

                With her heartbreaking story in mind, I began to notice living art and realized that I know far more women than men who choose to use their bodies as canvas.  So, this month, we borrowed a line from Craig Morgan and asked, “Come on, girl, show me your tattoo!”  

Ellen Luchsinger shares her love of tattoos
with her husband, Jay

                Ellen Luchsinger is a beautiful young woman with nine tattoos; each has significance and a story.  She and her husband get a new tattoo in each state they visit together.  They have matching trees on their shoulders, which Jay designed.  The branches nearly touch a quill pen beside a line from Hamlet, “nothing is either good or bad, thinking makes it so.”  Scholars of Shakespeare will forgive the slight deviation of phrase; the tattoo is an exact replica of the handwriting of her best friend – her late grandmother.

                Another quote, this one from the Grateful Dead, graces her back, “If I knew the way, I would take you home.”  One either side is the Dead’s signature bear and a triforce from The Legend of Zelda, the only video game she’s ever played.  The game so enthralled her that she would, at times, fake being sick to stay home from school and spend the day with her Nintendo 64.  On her wrist are two simple words, stacked together to remind her that, when times are tough, it’s often just mind over matter.

the handprints of Cooper Luchsinger

                Though many people get tattoos to memorialize someone they’ve lost, Ellen chooses to honor her parents, Wayne and Roberta Lohr, now.  Their signatures are scrawled across her foot exactly as they’ve appeared in every card they’ve ever given her.  While her first tattoo, received with a dose of trepidation, is hidden inside her lip, her most recent is the one she displays most proudly: a water color handprint portrait of her son, Cooper.  “He’s the best thing in my life, my greatest accomplishment, literally my favorite thing on the planet.”

                While Ellen and her tattoo habit are supported by family and friends, Paula Eppley-Newman’s single tattoo caused unexpected uproar.  Paula is an elegant lady of a certain age, known for independence and a propensity to succeed.  Among other pursuits, Paula is a member of loosely formed group called the Community Connections Team.  When asked to describe the group of ladies, she answered, “We laugh together and we rant together.  When one cries, we all cry.  When one celebrates, we all celebrate.  We lift each other up when the world around us beats us down.  We celebrate babies and goats.  I am honored and humbled to be in their company.  To learn from them and grow with them.  It’s a bond like no other.”

The emotional strength of these women is a wonder.  Therefore, it is no wonder (at least to me) that they would choose to adorn themselves with the words of Maya Angelou, “still I rise.”  What I do wonder about is why so many of Paula’s friends were shocked, even abhorred.   After an unprecedented number of messages, she wrote the following:

Paula Eppley-Newman
received mixed reactions to her tattoo

“I never thought choosing to get a tattoo would cause such a sensation among my family, friends, co-workers, and peers.  The shock, awe, delight, and degradation has me overwhelmed and amazed.  Although I owe no explanation, I submit one here, for all to read, ponder, digest, and hopefully, accept.  If you reach the end and acceptance is beyond your reach, I suggest you do some internal reflection to understand and, maybe, even develop your own perceptions on tolerance.

“This decision was not made lightly and I chose the design for a variety of reasons.  It is about solidarity – with like-minded women who feel the world slipping backwards instead of moving forward.  These women are my compass points.  They help me find true north when society wants me to move in other directions.

“It is about honor – honoring the memory of the most powerful woman I knew, my mother.  She was a woman of faith, love, and kindness.  A strong woman who lost one child but went on to raise the other four to be strong, compassionate adults, all while taking care of a sick husband.  She maintained her love and respect for him and never complained.  No matter what, still she rose, and the purple rose is in her honor.

                “It is about memory and respect – for all the women who came before, who struggled and rose beyond where they were to create the powerful female gene that generations to come will share.  They set the stage for women everywhere to build their own resistance and find their internal power.

                “It is a reminder – of where I was and where I am now.

                “It is about never ending love – for my daughters by birth, love, and law, whom I watched grow into strong women who are now raising strong women.

the words of Maya Angelou

                “It is about injustice – that in this day and age, women still have to worry about body image, shaming, fitting a societal mold instead of living the best life they can and breaking that mold forever.

                “So, to the individual who asked if I was going through a mid-life crisis: thank you for the compliment as I am way past mid-life.  To the one who asked, ‘What are you thinking? You are an intelligent woman!’: thank you for recognizing my intelligence, if not my choice.”

Phil Balko is the proprietor of Photography by Balko, a full-service studio specializing in senior portraits, custom wedding, and lifestyle photography.  To see more of his work, visit http://philipbalko.com.  You may contact Phil at inquiry@philipbalko.com or (814)352-5327.

Mourning mindfully

Into the woods I go

alone but for camera

and for dog

to lose my mind

and find my soul

and allow myself to grieve

thoughts cast upon

the gentle breeze

and into the growing wind

peace drawn in

through the  forest’s voice

tracks left for another day

borrowed fear  laid with utmost care

upon the shoulders of the dog

to deal with as she will

revisit thoughts of the gentle voice of poetry

unbidden, it quenches, it exacerbates

passions betrayed and left behind

let the forest breathe for you

let mud cushion weary feet

allow yourself to grieve.

Years of disappointment hardened me

dreams were dashed, love euthanized

expectations are no more

and, without expectation

I was not prepared

for no more opportunities to say…

I loved you in the beginning

and I loved you in the end

in between, mindful apathy

now, I am left alone

you cannot hear my words

but, I’ll tell you, anyway

you taught me what it means to be

loved above all else

though it was never me you chose

but you held me every time I cried

and, across these 50 years,

only twice has someone done the same

it took me ‘til today to realize

what a precious gift that was

and, now, I mourn the loss.

There's no such thing as a pit bull

Photo by Phil Balko

                Well, that’s not strictly true, but it caught your attention, right?  There is no such breed as the Pit Bull.  While the UKC’s American Pit Bull Terrier comes closest in name, most enthusiasts agree that the term “pit bull” encompasses it and two other breeds: the UKC’s American Bully and the AKC’s American Staffordshire Terrier.  (Visit their websites to learn more: www.akc.org and www.ukcdogs.com)

                In form, a pit bull is a short-haired, well-muscled dog with a boxy head.  By these standards, the American Bulldog, English Mastiff, Rottweiler, Boston Terrier, and countless other breeds could be considered pit bulls. 

In history, a pit bull was a dog used for blood sports such as bull, bear, or boar baiting.  In these contests, a large animal was either tethered or contained in a pit and agitated before introducing a dog.  The object of the sport was for the dog to immobilize the animal by latching onto its snout.  When this gruesome practice was outlawed in 1835 by the Cruelty to Animals Act, many enthusiasts turned to rat baiting.  In this grisly sport, dogs were placed in a covered pit with 100 rats; the winner was the dog who killed the most rodents in a specified time.  The last public exhibition of rat baiting was in Leicester in 1835, only to be replaced by the horrific practice of pitting dogs against one another.

With such a checkered past and no clear breed standard, it’s no wonder the pit bull type of dog is so misunderstood.  When the words are uttered, the reactions are often polar opposites.  Many people fear these dogs, envisioning aggressive beasts bred to kill.  Just as many romanticize them as today’s martyr, as German Shepherds, Doberman Pinchers, and Rottweilers have been in the past. 

The breeds that encompass the pit bull type are not for everyone, just as Chihuahuas, Great Danes, or Border Collies are not for everyone.  They are typically highly driven, athletic dogs, whose minds need to be exercised, as well as their bodies.  Tim Holsopple, founder of Operation Pit Bull, is an advocate and expert on these dogs.  His dog, Laz, has been an integral part of his life for nearly seven years.

Together, Tim and Laz have taken part in agility, obedience, and barn hunt activities, but their greatest passion is weight pulling.  Tim works out in the gym and Laz works out in the fields, dragging window weights to keep his athletic build and to satisfy his need to perform.  Laz is as much the center of Tim’s universe as is his son, Owen.  The “boys” wrestle, play, and sleep together.  There is no fear of Owen coming to any harm in Laz’s company – inflicted by dog or mankind.

While much of his time has been dedicated to finding homes for pit bull types in shelters, Tim doesn’t try to push his breed choices on others.  His opinion is that no breed should be held as superior, nor should any be discriminated against as a whole.  Just as with the humans you choose to share your life, a dog should be both judged and respected as an individual, not as a stereotype.  I wholeheartedly agree.

                 

Rebecca is the President & Executive Director of The Ethel Fund Inc., a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization dedicated to changing animals' lives by providing assistance in times of catastrophic veterinary need.  To learn more, please visit http://www.ethelfund.org or https://www.facebook.com/TheEthelFund.  You may contact Rebecca at rslindeman@ethelfund.org.

Phil Balko is the proprietor of Photography by Balko and donates his talents to the Ethel Fund Inc. as well as other community organizations.  To see more of his work, visit http://philipbalko.com/. You may contact Phil at inquiry@philipbalko.com.

For the Love of Winter - from Somerset Magazine, January 2017

Our grandmother was a wise and gentle woman who taught us that what people do behind closed doors (or in a voting booth) is no one else’s business, and that we should practice love rather than preach damnation.  She raised us to stand up for what’s right but to avoid unnecessary confrontation.  Today, I throw caution to the wind and publicly admit that I love winter.  

The cold air invigorates me, I enjoy the added challenge of walking in snowshoes, am fascinated by the many tracks and trails left by other creatures that travel the woods.  My dogs romp, roll, and come home with clean paws.

Some of my friends think I’m daft.  They answered our leading question, ‘what do you love about winter?’ with varying degrees of good-natured sarcasm:   “Nothing,” from Sandy Rugg; “The flies are all dead,” from Maxine Cook; and, from Karen Thomas, “The only good thing about winter is that, with each passing day, we are closer to spring.”

Others were a little more charitable to the season, if only because avoiding it allows them to stay indoors and enjoy certain pleasures.  Trystina Cox and Pat Reed enjoy the cozy feeling of being wrapped in a blanket.  Wendy Stanton and Linda Troy fill their homes with the delicious smells of comfort food.  Jay Boyer finds time to read and Eric Fogle finds time to draw.

Deana Foust has loved winter from her early childhood when she and her cousins would go sledding at their grandmother’s house.  They would trudge up the hill, stumbling through the ditch as the road surface was tightly packed and frozen, pulling a green wooden sled behind them.  The three of them would pile on, the oldest having the honor of sitting up front and steering with his feet, the younger girls each wrapping her arms and legs around the cousin in front.  The other two would then push with all their might and the sled would whoosh away!

Becky Garreston Perigo was a shy child, preferring to play on her own in the woods near the Quemahoning Reservoir.  She would pile and shape the snow into a throne where she would sit very still and quiet.  Without the sounds of traffic or other children, she could actually hear the soft drop of new snowflakes onto previous days’ accumulation.  Becky would stay and play in her private kingdom until the bread bags inside her boots would finally begin to leak and she’d have to go home to warm her feet.

Heidi Pristas Maus and Lenny Rhominsky both love to see the evergreen trees heavy with snow, their bows bending beneath its weight, making caves around their trunks where little animals may find shelter.  Though she’s now the teacher, Heidi still enjoys the two-hour delays and the unplanned freedom of snow days.

Bonnie Nunamaker and Wendy Cernansky enjoy the winter nights when all is calm and quiet.  Even without the moon, the stars reflect enough light to walk through the crisp snow, making those first footprints after a fresh fall.  Wendy walks the yet-to-be-shoveled sidewalks with her dogs while Bonnie walks the fields, accompanied by three fainting goats, all frolicking like children.

Debbie Benedict takes delight in those times when a heavy snow is followed by ice.  The trees are coated and crackle with the least bit of movement.  As the sun sinks, its last rays shine across the frozen ground, making the ice sparkle like diamonds, sometimes like a rainbow.

Then there’s young Carole Kelly.  She suffers from asthma and is unable to spend much time outdoors when it’s cold, but winter is still her favorite season.  Her father, Justin, works construction and her mother, Nina, is a nurse.  Her older brothers, Lee and Stephen, are in school.  Winter is special to Carole, not because of Christmas, nor snowmen and snow angels; winter is special because her Daddy is laid off and for a few hours each day, she has him all to herself.

                 

Phil Balko is the proprietor of Photography by Balko, a full-service studio specializing in senior portraits, custom wedding, and lifestyle photography.  To see more of his work, visit http://philipbalko.com/.  You may contact Phil at inquiry@philipbalko.com or (814)352-5327.

Ethel is Chillin' for Charity - from Somerset Magazine, January 2017

It’s that time again – the heart of winter, when we do one of the most outrageously fun things of all to help family pets with catastrophic veterinary needs.  We create a team (because who would be crazy enough to do this alone) and we head into the icy waters of the Quemahoning Reservoir in Holsopple on February 11.  No, we’re not nuts – we’re freezin’ for a reason: the 2017 Chillin’ for Charity.

There’s more to the day than just taking that icy dip.  Over the three years that Ethel has attended, we’ve seen the event grow into an incredible winter festival and arctic splash that takes “frozen” to a whole new level.  The organizers and participants work to raise awareness and financial support for local charities, including the Ethel Fund.

From providing nutritious meals to children in need over the weekends, to rescuing animals, providing medical care to both humans and pets, and improving a playground, you’re sure to find a charity that you want to support.  All funds raised are kept locally and impact Somerset and Cambria Counties.  By braving the cold to support one (or all) of these organizations, you will be warming the hearts of those in need.

The day begins at 9:00am, with food, music, bonfires, and contests.  Registration begins at 10:00am and we take the Arctic Splash at 1:00pm.  Participants have always made the most of this day, with many of them dressing in costume.  Besides the traditional prizes, this year, organizers will be crowning one of the costumed guests the Ice Princess – complete with sash, crown, and photo ops. 

Anyone can participate though, if you’re under 18, you’ll need a parent’s signature.  Local EMS will be present and Swift-Water Rescue will be in the water from the moment the first toe breaks the surface until the last participant hits the warming tents to change.  Spectators are also welcome but parking at the beach is reserved for those going into the Que.  Shuttles will run every 30 from the North American Hoganas plant, where parking is free.

Ethel and I will be at the event, though she won’t be joining me in the water.  I’d like to invite each and every one of you to join our team by visiting https://www.classy.org/campaign/the-ethel-fund-is-chillin-for-charity/c95943 and clicking on “Join a Team.” You may help one of the individual recipients by joining their team (all money raised by the team goes to the medical bills of that animal) or support the Fund as a whole by joining Ethel’s Frozen Friends.  100% of the funds raised by this team will be used to provide assistance to family pets with catastrophic veterinary needs, offer sanctuary to the pets of women escaping domestic abuse, and facilitate the pairing of service dogs to people with disabilities.

If you’d like to join in the fun, but can’t bring yourself to take the plunge, don’t worry there are no Plunge Police.  You are more than welcome – this day is about community, fun, and fundraising and anyone raising at least $50 will receive a commemorative gift.  So, whether you’ll be heading into the water, cheering us on from the shore, or making a donation online, or just spreading the word, we at the Ethel Fund say ‘Thank you!’

Rebecca is the President & Executive Director of The Ethel Fund Inc., a 501(c)3 nonprofit organization dedicated to changing animals' lives by providing assistance in times of catastrophic veterinary need.  To learn more, please visit http://www.ethelfund.org or https://www.facebook.com/TheEthelFund.  You may contact Rebecca at rslindeman@ethelfund.org.

Phil Balko is the proprietor of Photography by Balko and donates his talents to the Ethel Fund Inc. as well as other community organizations.  To see more of his work, visit http://philipbalko.com/. You may contact Phil at inquiry@philipbalko.com.